At Wordful we value the importance of building and supporting positive relationships as part of our therapeutic involvement with children and young people (CYP). We see behaviour as communication, most often expressing unmet needs. Restorative practice is a well-known framework for supporting positive relationships in schools, beautifully presented in the book ‘Restorative Practice’ by Mark Finnis. Reading this book as a speech and language therapist, I was inspired to highlight what restorative practice might mean for CYP with speech, language and communication needs (SLCN).
small, regular actions
When it comes to building relationships, Mark Finnis encourages us to take lots of small, regular actions across the day, rather than fewer, bigger ones. Smiling, playfulness, taking a genuine interest, knowing a CYP well, being kind, are all little acts that go a very long way. He says we need to make regular deposits into a CYP’s ‘social piggy bank’ so that when the time comes to deal with conflict in the relationship and/ or big behaviours, there’s enough ‘reserve’ to address it. At Wordful, we promote communication skills as developing within positive relationships.
considered responses
Restorative practice is about adults replacing reactionary responses to big behaviours that involve shame, punishment and isolations with more considered responses that nurture connection and responsibility. It’s about understanding behaviour and focusing on solutions rather than blaming. I loved these suggested word replacements for thinking about behaviour:
|
Instead of…. |
Try… |
|
Challenging behaviour |
Distressed behaviour |
|
Unacceptable behaviour |
Understandable behaviour |
|
Attention seeking |
Attention needing |
Example visual created by Wordful UK around reframing how we can level up and level down to support emotional regulation.
When it comes to responding to tricky conflicts and behaviours, the focus of restorative practice is on helping CYP come to terms with their effect on others, with an understanding that conflicts are part of healthy relationships, and inevitable i.e. learning opportunities.
There are three main steps:
- The CYP needs to be able to explain ‘what happened?’ – but do they have adequate vocabulary and language skills to understand the questions being asked, and to express ‘their side of the story’ fairly?
- The CYP needs to demonstrate understanding of how others have been impacted by what has happened – but do they have adequate attention, listening, comprehension, perspective-taking and social skills to do this successfully? Are they aware of their own thoughts, feelings and behaviours and those of others?
- A CYP needs to generate a plan to move forwards, creating their own solutions and agreements.
10 suggestions to consider
Again, plenty of language skills are required for this, including a consolidated understanding of cause and effect, and self-awareness. Solution plans will likely include regulation and communication supports.
To support our CYP with SLCN to engage in the process of restorative practice, and any positive behaviour plan for that matter, here are 10 suggestions to consider:
- Know the CYP’s speech, language and communication needs and levels, as identified by a speech and language therapist
- Adjust language to match the CYP’s level of understanding
- Use clear, specific language when facilitating discussion
- Be aware that CYP might not understand the vocabulary around behaviour – consider words such as regulate, willing, affected, impacted, involved, specific, reflect, clarify, solution, conflict, resolve, awareness, agreement, perspective, acceptable, negotiate, offensive, expectation, boundary, explore, contribution, conflict, victim, collaboration, respectful, participate, describe and not least restorative
- Consider all the ‘time words’ involved in discussing an event – before that, after that, going forwards, what happens next – time words can be very tricky for CYP with SLCN
- Provide plenty of time when waiting for the CYP to respond, reduce amount of adult talk and increase pauses
- Use more comments than questions
- Support restorative conversations with visuals such as energy charts, social situation maps (from Social Thinking by Michelle Garcia Winner) and problem-solving maps.
- Consider talking side by side or going for a walk and talk
- Add sensory/emotion supports such as stress balls, Lego, colouring to support regulation and better communication – the OT and psychologist can advise, if possible.
In summary
In summary, restorative practice is an empowering approach for building and supporting positive relationships with CYP – so important for the development of speech, language and communication skills. Restorative practice is also a powerful approach for repairing conflicts but students with SLCN will often require additional supports to be able to succeed.
“…while some people may well need a good talking to, many actually just need a good listening to…”
‘Restorative Practice’, written by Mark Finnis.
Taken from ‘Social Behaviour Mapping – Connecting Behaviour, Emotions and Consequences Across the Day’ written by Michelle Garcia Winner
Anneline
Digital Resources Lead
Junior Speech & Language Therapist
